It’s unbelievably stress relieving to be able to fart without restriction. Most of the time we’re around other people so we always try to be discrete when we fart. Either we look for an excuse to move away for a bit or we slowly let it go while trying to keep it as quiet as possible. The second one often leaves us with this weird serious look in our faces. You have to be really good at keeping your face normal to hide what you’re doing.

But when you really think about it, wouldn’t it be awesome if we could just let one go wherever we are without regard for what other people would think. It’d probably make our lives so much easier. Ok so it might not be that big a deal but at the very least it’d help us avoid some awkward moments. But I suppose that’ll never happen. We’ll just have to live with all our clandestine farting.

There’s one thing I’ve noticed about dads. They don’t seem to care if the whole family hears them fart. They just let one rip whenever they feel like it. You could be watching the TV with him and you suddenly hear it. You never hear your mom fart in front of you. Moms have a bit more class than that. My dad’s fart sounds like the “Kazzoo!” one on the fart soundboard by the way.

It’s funny how dads suddenly try to be discreet when people come over though. They’ll still fart in front of you but they’ll make sure that the guests don’t hear or smell it. I suppose it’s their idea of keeping things in the family.

You get used to this though. I personally can’t remember when my dad started doing this. I just know he’s been doing it for a long time. It’s just one of those things that you grow up with and never really bother to think about.

When you’re sitting on a really soft chair like the ones they have at coffee shops or the ones planes have, will the chair absorb the smell when you fart slowly. I had this crazy thought before when I was trying to hold it in and so I tried to fart as slow as possible and be as quite as I could be. There was a hint of smell but not too much. The “air” seems to have gone through the sofa and was slowly coming out.

It was still there, the smell I mean but I thought that it was faint enough for me to get away with it. Of course I was too afraid to stand because going by my logic, I was acting like a bottle stopper. If I stood up, everyone near me would notice the smell. Then I’d naturally be the likely suspect because I was the last person to move. It was a crazy 15 minutes before I allowed myself to stand up.

Another really common thing that happens to everyone is the fart-sneeze. It’s like our body just malfunctions and this crazy thing happens. We don’t feel like farting, we haven’t even thought about it but it just happens.

It’s really funny because when this happens people don’t normally notice, unless it smells really bad. And then we play it off like nothing happened. Of course the whole time were trying to figure out if they really didn’t hear anything or if they’re just trying to be polite. This creates a really uncomfortable scenario. You’ll feel self-conscious the whole time you’re with everyone and just can't wait to leave.

I normally try to come up with some pretense to leave the group. The best one that I always use and one that works for almost every occasion is a work related emergency with a foreign client. They whine and ask me to just ignore it but we’re all working already so we know how valuable it is to keep your boss happy so they let me go.

Group trips are always fun especially if you’re with really close friends. You’re all really rowdy and you do pretty much anything that’ll stop you from getting bored. You even start playing extremely senseless games like counting the number of blue cars or trying to spot a certain letter combination on the plate numbers.

Notice though that when everyone least expects it, there’s always somebody who farts and puts a stop to whatever it is that you’re all doing. You’ll all start looking at each other and start accusing everyone who isn’t you. Of course nobody’s going to openly come out and say it was him.

With most of my trips we never really find out who farted, we just pick the most likely guy out and keep blaming him every time another anonymous fart happens. It’s pretty lame but it’s all done in good fun.

How about you? I’m sure this has happened to you at least several times. Let me guess, you farted and you never admitted it to your friends didn’t you :).

Out of all the sounds on the fart soundboard I have to admit that “prelude to a crap” cracks me up the most. Reminds me of those moments when you’re holding it in because there’s no toilet in sight. When you finally find one, you hurriedly pull down your pants and underwear and sit down, and then salvation happens. That feeling is amazing.

I know that if you’re a girl you probably think it’s disgusting that I’m talking about this. But you’ve got to admit that this has happened to all of us. If you’re a guy then you’re probably just laughing your ass off at some weird memory of yours. I won’t ask for the details, I’ve probably been there anyway.

Seriously, try clicking the “prelude to a crap” over and over again and see if you don’t laugh. Go over to the fart soundboard and try it. It’s a guaranteed chuckle.

Most people think that farts are disgusting and they are. They smell bad and sound really weird, but for the most part it’s the smell that makes them so unbearable. This is especially true if the person who farts has been eating some crazy food. The fart just smells revolting.

But take away the smell and you have to admit that farts are really funny. There are so many different types of farts that you just can’t help but laugh when you realize how many there are. What really cracks me up is when I hear a sound that I know I’ve made before. I just can’t stop laughing when that happens.

My friends tell me it’s crazy that I find fart sounds funny. I’m pretty sure they’re just posing though. I’m sure fart sounds crack them up too, they just don’t want to admit it. It’s like a built in funny button that we all have. Once it’s pressed you just can’t help but laugh.

Fart moments never get old. They were funny when we were kids, we still had a blast with them in high school and even in college they still crack us up. It’s probably the whole idea of farts being considered as something embarrassing that fuels the “gas” tank of our sense of humor, pun intended.

When we were kids, we always tried to hide the fact that we farted. It never worked of course, how could it, but we tried anyway. Then when people start to notice, we pretend to be doing or thinking about something serious. We hope that this will throw them off our “scent” (last one I promise) but it only makes us look more guilty. When our friends finally point us out, they all run away from us laughing and teasing.  

This whole scenario never changed even when we got older. We still pretend that it wasn’t us, it still doesn’t work but it somehow just feels better than out rightly admitting that we let one rip.