Here’s a creepy fact for Halloween, do you know what death farts are? I invented the term just now. It sounded pretty cool so I just went with it. By death farts I don’t mean farts that can kill. There are certainly farts that smell so bad that they make you think that you’d die if you don’t get away but that’s not what I’m talking about.
I recently found out that the dead can actually fart. Creepy huh. From a layman’s perspective it is a bit spooky but once you understand how it works, it makes a bit more sense.
When a person dies, the gas is still there in his system. Once the gut relaxes the gasses have to come out and the closest exit is the butt. So they produce the death dart.
It can be startling if it comes from someone who just recently died. It makes them look like they’re still alive and just pretending.
If you’re looking for a nice trick you can play this Halloween, you can try using the fart soundboard. You can try hooking them up to some portable speakers and playing fart sounds at the parties of the neighbors that you dislike.
Watch when everyone tries to scan the room to find out who farted. It’ll be a blast trying to confuse the crowd. Try pointing at someone and see how they’ll react and how everyone else will.
You can also blast a house with far sounds if they didn’t give you any candy. It’s a bit juvenile and you’re going to need some powerful speakers but if you can pull it off, kudos.
It’s all in the spirit of Halloween so it should be fine. Everyone will probably just laugh it off once they find out that the sounds are just recordings. They might even ask you for a copy of the fart soundboard so that they can try the trick themselves.
If you’re curious about farts then you could try making a journal about your own. Keep track of how often you fart in a day and how smelly they are. Keep track of what you eat as well so that you can find a relation between your diet and fart frequency.
Just for laughs, you can even add a fart soundboard equivalent category into your notes. Try to find out what it sounds closest to the most on the fart soundboard. You can start naming your farts this way and chart down which types of farts you make all the time.
If you’re very accurate you might even be able to keep track of what you ate before specific type of fart. This way you can work your way towards reproducing them. You’ll have a blast with fart pranks once you’ve mastered how to consciously produce specific fart sounds whenever you want to.
Have you ever wondered why there are such a variety of sounds on the fart soundboard? Well it’s because of the variety of fart sounds in real life. Fart’s produce sound because of the vibration they cause when we “let them rip” so to speak. The sound is dependent on the speed of the air coming out of the anal opening and the tightness of the opening. Since we can somewhat control the muscles in our anus, we can sometimes control the sounds. Most of the time we can’t control it too well though so we’re only either able to make a huge sound or a very slow hiss. The former we do when we’re comfortable and the second one we do when we’re trying to keep it really quite.
So the next time you fart why don’t you try experimenting with the sound it makes. Now that you’ve got the basic principles down you should be able to control the sound produced.
Can you imagine how bad it would be if the fart soundboard produced their equivalent smell? It'd be awful but slightly cool at the same time. So why do our farts stink anyway?
Our farts stink because of the sulfur in our diet.When we eat food that is high in sulfur they naturally get digested inside our stomachs. There are bacteria in there that help breakdown the food. The digestive process produces sulfides which cause our farts to stink. The same is true for nitrogen rich foods as well. These also result in smellier farts because of the compounds released after they are broken down.
If you don’t want your fart to smell so bad you might want to consider avoiding foods like egg, meat and cauliflowers. Try to stay away from carbonated drinks as well. These tend to enhance the odor of farts. The basic rule is to veer away from anything that might upset your stomach.
Try eating fruits for a change and cook your vegetables before you eat them. This will help your stomach greatly when it comes to the breakdown process. They’ll reduce the fart stink by a lot.
Yes boys it’s true. They wont admit it but women fart just as much as men. Try asking them what sounds closest to theirs on the fart soundboard and they will tell you that’s gross. Ask them how often they fart and they wont say a thing. They think it’s embarrassing and they don’t find it as fun as us men do.
It’s hard to imagine women farting just as much as us though because we never hear them fart. Women’s farts for some reason don’t smell as bad as men’s so they get away with it more often. They probably do that slow fart thing to try and keep the sound down just so we don’t notice. Try watching out for their facial expressions next time you think something’s up. They cant be that good at making a poker face. There has to some weird facial expression that you can catch.
We’ve all seen it in movies, in commercials, in print ads and even on our comic strips. The question is can you really do that? It’s not a bad idea to add a flaming fart on the fart soundboard actually, but back on topic.
And the answer is… drum roll…. YES. Yes folks you can really light your fart on fire. Our farts have flammable gasses in them. Methane and hydrogen are two highly flammable gasses that give our farts that extra umph.
How’s it done you ask? Well you’d have to have a really big one stocked up. If you want to give it a try make sure that you’ve eaten a lot of fart enhancing foods like beans and eggs. Get a lighter ready and make sure that it’s near enough to catch fire but not so near that you’ll burn your skin. Then just let a big one rip and feel the heat behind you.
Be very careful with this though. It can really burn if you’re not careful.
Have you ever wanted to make all the fart sounds on the fart board? Well the only way for someone to do that, weird though it may be to even make the attempt, is to produce a lot of farts. Luckily nature has given us a lot of fart friendly foods that will give us an almost unlimited number of tries.
People’s bodies have different reactions to different food so it’s all dependent on how your body reacts to them. But here are the foods that will generally cause flatulence if eaten in adequate amounts.
· Dairy products
· High starch foods like sweet potatoes
There are a ton of other foods and they’re usually the really high carbohydrate ones. So if you want to make the fart soundboard dupplication attempt, better stock up. Alternatively if you want to avoid farting so much, you might want to check you diet.
Here’s a neat little post for all of you who are curious about the topic. We all make fun of farts and we all love the fart soundboard but have you ever really asked yourself what farts are made of? We know it’s a gas but what type of gas is it?
Farts are intestinal gasses. When we eat food, we might think that all were taking in is solid food but in reality some air comes with it. These can be composed of nitrogen, oxygen, hydrogen, carbon dioxide and methane. When our intestines break down our food these gasses come out. Naturally the body has to release them as well thus we have farts.
This is a perfectly normal bodily activity. If you fart a lot don’t be alarmed and think that there is something wrong with you. It’s most likely your diet that’s giving you a lot of flatulence. Some foods like beans release more gas than others so you might want to avoid those.
I was playing around with the fart soundboard today and it made me lose my appetite. I’m actually really surprised that they still have this much effect on me. I’ve gotten so used to hearing farts that I thought they didn’t bother me anymore.
This commonly happens to most of my friends though. We normally have fun with the sounds together but whenever it’s mealtime they always ban me from playing with it. Farts make them imagine nasty things and they lose the ability to keep their food down.
I suppose this is true for everyone. It applies to all disgusting and gory topics though. Like with my friends another taboo topic during meals is gory films. The ones where you see the other people’s intestines hanging out. A friend of mine said that it reminds him too much of sausages. Puking is also a taboo topic with us. We all have our own vivid puking memories so we don’t like them being triggered during meals.